Thursday, 4 September 2014

Dear Sunshine - 1. The Sequel [Dec, 1999]


Dear Sunshine,

            It’s the ultimate night of the penultimate month. The night is cold. Well, cold is an understatement─ I even sleep with three woollen blankets these days. There is plenty to study and sleep is already taking over my eyes to such an extent, that my eyes are too tired to even look at the reference book that stares eagerly at me. The clock says it’s just five minutes to midnight─ five more minutes and one more month will vanish into thin air. I just can’t believe that I spent an entire month without talking to you even once. The last time we talked over the phone was on the day I reached back here, and the call didn’t last even a minute. It was all my fault anyway.

            Let me guess; you might be wondering why I have written to you. I bet you are, considering not only the fact that my semester examinations are on, but also my legendary laziness. Honestly, I too don’t know. I just felt I should. And isn’t it lovely? To be addressed to, to be written to by someone close, by someone special. Everyone hopes that someone will make them feel special. No one can dislike it. And letters are the best memoirs, the best mementos to possess. Unlike any other thing, they are written by someone with utmost love and care─ someone actually pours one’s love out in a letter. It’s such a wonderful feeling to be reading a letter written for you, isn’t it?

            Right now, if you even want to know, I am lying lazily on the ground, writing my feelings on a piece of paper, surrounded by countless notes, stationary, drawing sheets and books. Okay, guess what time is it? 12? No! 12:30? No way! It’s 4 o’ clock you know. I guess you might be confused. 4 o’ clock? How? Just a paragraph ago, it was 11:50 and how all of a sudden it’s 4, right? Actually, half an hour after beginning the letter, I dozed off. And you know everything about my sleep, so that explains a lot about the time gap, doesn’t it? I still wonder how you know so much about my sleep. Actually, I still wonder how you know so much about me.

            This year has been memorable, hasn’t it? It sure was rough─ much on the challenging side for me. I lost my wallet earlier this year. Then I had fractured my hand, remember? You and Megha used to pay me visits at my home every day. By the way, I know she didn’t want to come after the first two days but you used to compel her to. I’m still curious about how you used to manage to do it. You remember that A. R. Rahman concert? We’d planned we would inform at home that we were going to the concert, and go to the movies instead. You were so excited! You were going for a prime time show for the very first time, and that too with me! And then your aunt spotted you and just messed up the entire plan. That was miserable. And then in August, I had to leave the town and come here for my four-year-long engineering degree. The perfect climax; or anti-climax to be more correct. But all of that didn’t matter─ not at all, for we were together, for you were there by my side.

            Sure life goes on. It has its ups and downs. It has to have them. But what matters really is to have someone in your life, who will stand by you, no matter what. Everyone isn’t that fortunate. Everyone isn’t that blessed. And I’m grateful to God that I am fortunate enough, not to be alone. You are that someone special for me. And in a world full of selfishness and distrust, being blessed with such a friend is indeed very special, very rare. I can’t even imagine what I would have been doing, had you not supported me in my hardships. There’s no other feeling like being loved, and I experience that every day, every time, every moment. Thank you. Thank you so much.

            Today was a long day indeed. Long, tiresome day of studying in the college library. So I just rested myself in the evening, reading Nicholas Sparks’s The Notebook. It’s a beautiful story. For me, Noah and Allie aren’t just the lead characters in the book, but people I look up to, people I can and I will learn from, people who are close to my heart. Falling in love, losing it, finding it again and nurturing it until losing it again─ their love endured. Beautiful is the only adjective I can think of, for describing the novel. It says, “Every great love starts with a great story,” and all I could think of was our story. It says, “I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours,” and all I had in my mind were your thoughts, your dreams, your memories, your love. Noah writes countless letters to Allie when they’re separated, which her mother hides from her. But when she finally gets to read those letters after years, she’s filled with bunch of emotions─ glee, sadness, excitement, regret, love─ she’s so overwhelmed. It’s such a beautiful feeling, right? Going back into time, reliving old memories. I feel it is priceless. And when they grow old and she forgets everything due to Alzheimer’s, he reads their story from his notebook to her everyday. And that’s what suggested me of writing letters to you. Why not write a letter every month. Or even every fortnight.

            And that’s why, you are reading this one. I hope you too want the letters to continue. If not, then I’ll simply have to reconsider my confidence about my letter-writing skills. You wanted a new year’s gift, so I thought of giving you something priceless; and hence, I’m gifting you memories! And I hope you’ll love them. This year has taught us a lot of things. It has set up new challenges, created new obstacles, but at the same time, has helped us realize the value of togetherness. It has gifted us with a new path to tackle problems – hope. 1999 has surely taught us what it takes to sustain a relationship, and also made us aware that we have all that it takes to make it work─ for a lifetime. If not anything, it has made us realize the true meaning of a relationship – togetherness. And I know that whatever happens, this sense of togetherness, selflessness and sacrifice, will stay forever. The year is about to come to an end, but it’s a yet another start, yet another beginning. The story doesn’t halt─ it ends into a brand new beginning─ into a sequel. A sequel to all that happiness, care, and love; a sequel, also to the problems, but with the courage to fight them and defeat them. And I hope this sequel strengthens our relationship, more than ever. And though the line that follows sprung out of Nicholas Sparks’s intellect, if I were to tell you anything, I would’ve said exactly the same thing: “You’re the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You’re a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don’t know how I could’ve lived without you as long as I have.”

            If only, words could describe how much I love you.


Lots of Love,

Yash.

1st December, 1999

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