Dear Honeybunch,
There are days when I miss you. There are days when I miss you more. But there hasn’t been even a single day when I haven’t missed you. I miss you like the night misses the Sun. Maybe, even more than that. There’s a certain sadness in the air. Mornings are blue and nights are grey. But deep down, I’m happy. I’m happy for the greater good, for the fact that you are fulfilling your parents’ wishes, that you are making them proud. Rest assured, they aren’t the only people who feel proud of you. (Yeah dumbo, I’m talking about myself. You make me feel so proud!)
This letter would be as useless as a vestigial organ if I don’t thank you. So my dear cutie pie, thank you so much. Thank you for writing to me. When life was miserable, when I felt I was sinking in my own loneliness, your letter was the only thing I could hold on to. It made my worries fade away, made me feel as if you aren’t miles away from me, but sitting here right next to me, patting my back, wiping my tears with your soft long fingers, looking into my eyes saying words of love. I must have re-read it for a hundred times and still haven’t got enough of it. (By the way, did you notice I used the term ‘vestigial organ’? See, I do remember biology even today! How smart of me!)
Well thanks for recommending ‘The Notebook’ to me. By the way, I have read it already. When you left, I did bid you farewell with a smile, but my heart cried and cried and cried. I was so used to having you around. Your pickup lines, your idiotic jokes, your sarcasm, your philosophy— you were always there for me, and then all of a sudden you left. The void you left could not and cannot be filled. But Nicholas Sparks helped me out to wipe my tears at least, if not fill the void. Nicholas, through Noah and Allie, made me feel good about love, about life. He introduced me to calmness of the mind— I rock my armchair for hours thinking about life same as Noah. I’m in love with Nicholas Sparks. (Actually, no. I just like him. I’m in love with you.) If not anything else, Noah and Allie reinstated my faith in love. True Love.
In other news, I paid a visit to your home this weekend. (Your home just for a few years, for then it would be my home too!) Uncle and aunty miss you a lot, but the good thing is they are fit and fine. And you really don’t need to worry when your sister’s there to take care of them, do you? But honestly, I am so glad you introduced me to Shruti di. She’s like the sweetest person I’ve ever come across. (Yeah, she’s sweeter than you!) I can get into your house anytime I want, thanks to her. Thank God for sisters! I wish I had one too! Mom and Dad are fine too. They wished you good luck with your examinations, and Dad has asked you to get 7 hours of sleep at least. I wonder how he guessed you might not be getting enough sleep. All engineers think alike I guess!
Honestly, I’m so glad you liked ‘The Notebook.’ I always thought you didn’t like reading love stories. That’s precisely why I never recommended it to you. I just hope that your favourite love story is ours. It has to be! By the way, do you remember how our story started? It was the most beautiful thing that happened to me. And I’m sure it is the same with you. Four years have passed and our love is as fresh as it was then. When relationships become tedious and uninteresting with time, ours always grew and bloomed and flourished. Like the faces of moon grow from no moon to full moon, our love blossomed, always. And yeah, the last time we fought over the phone, it wasn’t your fault, okay? I was just too messed up and sad because you came over for Diwali and stayed just for 4 days. I was so disappointed. I shouldn’t have been so upset. I’m sorry!
The real reason behind writing to you was something else. I had this dream the other day, and you do know that I can’t breathe calmly without sharing my dream with you. I always have and this one, thus, cannot be an exception. It was a bizarre one though. The third world war was on, and I don’t remember what country we were living in. I’m sure it wasn’t India though. And the skirmish, once again, was between the allied forces and the axis powers. You decided you had to fight for the country and I decided not to leave you alone. And so, we both made up our minds to fight for the allied forces. When we were on the battlefield and the war was about to start, I asked something in your ear. (Though I still wonder how there was so much time available to ask you a question on the battlefield. I guess I forget the fact that it was my dream after all!) I whispered, “If we are on the side of the Allied forces, are we fighting against the Noahed powers?”
Okay stop laughing. I guess Allie and Noah have become too special for me; esp. after you met them, liked them, and loved them too! I miss you my cutie pie. I so miss spending time with you. But I’m happy— happy because I’m going to see you soon. I know you’re coming here on 24th (Wondering how I got to know? Well, you better ask your Shruti di!) I’m also maintaining a countdown, and I still have to exist for 13 more days. Exist because I can’t ‘live’ without you. I can just exist.
I want to ‘live’ again. I hope I get that opportunity soon. Pretty soon.
Lots and lots of love.
Neha
9th December, 1999
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